We come in Peace

There are times I wonder who we would be if we didn't have the people we have, in our lives. Think of that thought, if you didn't have your husband, your children, you parents, your friends your co workers who would you be? Would you still be the same person you are, right now reading this? On the other hand, who are we because we don't have some people in our lives. Like the guy that broke your heart, the girl that trampled all over you, the friend(s) who left you in their wake, the boss you never liked, or possibly the family member you just couldn't get along with. Why are our lives the way they are? Why have we chosen specific people to be in our lives and influence us, love us, need us and care for us. I know in my heart I love all the people surrounding me, I have chose them for a specific reason to be close to me; because I care for them.
I can't help, but look at all the people that have come and gone through the years. It started at our wedding. We had invited people I went to school with, which was about four years ago. Some of them I haven't spoken or seen since, some I've had a small conversation with, on Facebook none the less. In my head, I knew they wouldn't come, but I thought it was a small kind gesture to say, Hey I know you are out there and I'd like for you to come. In shock, I had five out of the ten show up. I have to say, after not seeing them for years, or speaking to some of them, it meant the world to me to see them show up. It made me miss them, and want to re kindle the friendship we all once had. So this whole time they have been in my thoughts.
When the time had turned and I was the one who got the invitation, I was nervous. Now I would have to face these friends I haven't seen in a group and I was nervous. Little did I know, it would make me ponder so much. Her wedding was beautiful, and all of the gang was there. Saying Hi and introducing my husband was about as far as the conversation got. Backs were turned and conversations continued on. So, there I stood, feeling like I had made my big attempt at re kindling something, and I was the outsider. I somehow felt like a trader, like I had betrayed everyone in there, or so thats how I felt like I was being treated. So, Drayton and I made our way back home to have dinner with my family.
So here I sit, and can't help but to wonder did I go wrong, or am I in a completely different world than they are now? There is part of me that wants to run back and just be the fly on the wall so I could possibly feel like I was apart of the gang again and there is a part of me that knows full well I will always be an outsider now.

My conclusion must be that I live on a completely different world, and I seem like an alien to them as they do to me.

Until Next Time,
Peace & Love