Oh B.B. though my phone app says you are roughly the size of a cantaloupe, I feel quite different... larger. Much larger. 

Today has been on overwhelming day my sweet girl. I have been stressfully thinking about all the things I think I need for you. What I don't have and mostly what the heck I don't know. Which is about everything I feel. We are in a whirlwind in getting ready for you. We're smack in the middle of redoing the bathroom, so that one day you can feel you are swimming tub. BUT mostly right now, its because I didn't want your Grandma to shower in the yucky old shower we had going on in there. Your incredible Dad is painting away in there. I've offered to help in all the ways I can, but there is only so much I can do while you're still cooking. 

Not that I'm too stressed out about the bathroom, we're working for the same end and I am grateful that your Dad has done most of the work himself. Aside from the awesome help we've had from family and friends. What I have been thinking about today is...you. How the heck am I going to know how to take care of you? How quickly am I going to learn what you need when you whimper at me? I'm overwhelmed at the thought of how precious you are going to be, and how inadequate I feel to have you.
I know that almost all new Moms go through these thoughts and I just wanted you to know that I'm right there with the rest of all the other Moms. I'm not super anything. I'm just me and I pray that as we both grow together, me, is always enough for you. I pray for God's grace as I stumble through learning who you are and what His plans are for you. Prayer has been my saving Grace along with your Dad. I love that man. He is perfect for me. I promise you, he will be wrapped around your finger. He is going to love you more than you will ever know little lady!

I love you and can't wait to see your wondrous eyes staring back at me. 
Love your Momma

Easter Changes Everything

I have a lot of free flowing thoughts floating in my head today. So as you read this, if it bounces, just hold tight.

This past weekend wast Easter. The single most significant day for any Bible believer. It was a beautiful day here. As Mr. Bailey and I sat in church, there was an awesome children's program. Those little kidlets got up there and sang their hearts out. All the while, parents and grandparents ooing and aweing at them! The thought hit me, that in just a few short years our little B.B. Girl is going to be one of those. WE are going to be one of those parents saying....oh look...she's so stinkin' cute!

Which then led me to the thought of how quickly time flies. It has been 5 years since Mr. Bailey and I met. 3 of which we've been married! What! Where the heck did the time go?? As I write this, I'm looking at our engagement photo board. We had people sign a 26x30 photo board at our wedding. We look so little. So  young in it. We were very different people than we are now. Though, after what feels like a short 5 years I still love that man and have loved him more each day and I'm not sure how its possible.

You see 3 years ago we promised one another we would love one another until death do us part. That promise's meaning has changed over the years. Mr. Bailey and I were madly in love. That's the fact. My heart was full of love, full of happiness, full of joy and excitement. Yet somewhere in all of my fullness I was empty, I was lost, I was baffled. That is when I started walking. Walking a well lit path with my eyes semi closed.

My path led me to Jesus. I've never been the same since. Thanks to Him!! As a new follower of Christ I was brash and finger pointing. To everyone who wasn't, or I thought wasn't. This included my Mr. Bailey. Somehow through my journey, I started walking a more fine line of graceful. I know this isn't of myself, because I'm not as eloquent as I like to think I am. Somehow through the pit holes, burns and words Mr. Bailey and I started walking on the same well lit path together. We both have never been the same since.

Knowing people that are fellow followers of Jesus gives a person a feeling of immediate connection. Its a strange comfort with someone you've never met, let alone spoken too. Well having that new deep connection with the love of my life was something we've never had before. Loving another person in such a facet of ways is beyond description. With our faith solely in Christ, we have found each other. The way Christ intended us to find each other. This new love has become our foundation. A foundation on which the rest of our lives are built on. The foundation our B.B. is going to stand on and learn from.

The legacy that we are building and creating between us is something that death only can part. My hope and my dreams are solid. They are solid because we know that no matter what we do, there isn't a thing to great to take us away from the love of Jesus. A love so great He died for Mr. Bailey and I. Wiped away who we were, so we would become the people he intended for us to be.

Nesting

That is such a bizarre term to me. Nesting It makes me feel like a squirrel or bird.

I've noticed an odd behavior lately. Strange in fact. Out of the ordinary. I mean don't get me wrong, my house doesn't always look like a hurricane strolled on threw it. I've been better, really since I've been home. My dishes get done, I vacuum and dust I even do laundry. I know right - me do laundry  I never said I'm great at putting it away. 

Anyways. The strangeness started eeking in I feel last weekend; when we started the demolition of one of our bathrooms. My constant reminder to my sweet Mr. Bailey that my Momma was not going to shower in that bathroom. Sooooo Construction started. 

Then our of nowhere Monday I did laundry.....and put it away people. I'm talking 6+ loads of laundry. Sorted through it, made a heaping pile of clothes to donate. The thing is, I was using the nursery closet. I moved all my clothes into our bedroom closet. Its tight, especially since Mr. Bailey and I are sharing a closet. DUMB The scary thing is, I have about 3 more laundry baskets of clothes. You would have thought I was going shopping through my already purchased clothes Monday. Sad.

Somehow between laundry, I redecorated the living room. I found a sweet faux oil painting at the D.I. for a smokin' deal! So I hung that, put some new curtains up and rearrange a few things.

Meanwhile, cleaning our bedroom, vacuuming, mopping, dusting and might I add making dinner.

After that real eventful day, today came along and oozed in some more odd behavior. I cleaned and rearranged my linen closet, coat closet and under the sink. 

The thing I find the most freakishly amusing, is I'm enjoying this. Yes, Hi there, its still Me here. I may have gone ape-crazy, but Its still Me...nesting. Waiting patiently for my Darling Little Girl.

Twenty Two and Love

This is roughly the size of B.B.!! She is about 1 Pound!

This is B.B. and Me. 

So the past 22 weeks of my life have been completely evolving. Each week is different. Not only has the past 22 weeks been filled with excitement of this little lady growing right along, but life as well.

Oh, you want to be filled in? Mmmkay. Over cap, reeeeeeal quick.  August 2012, we felt like God was telling me to move, career wise. August/September 2012, we were informed that there might be a position opening up at the church, that I was being considered for.  October 2012, Whooo Baby Bailey announcement. November 2012, I left my position at BPG. Caught up?

Okay then, soooo this week, I was officially offered the position at my church. God's timing couldn't be more perfect. This was something Mr. Bailey and I were not planning on me getting, but were just trying to be faithful to where Jesus has led us thus far. The best part, isn't the fact that it is working for the Lord, that its part time, working at the church, or surrounding myself with the Lord's work. In fact the best part isn't about the position at all. I just wanted to tell ya'll about it!

The best part has been from November forward. Since I've been home, my trust in the Lord has grown exponentially and I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to get to know Him more. What I feel the most blessed is, that this opportunity has given me eyes to see and ears to hear. I am able to see my husband the way Jesus sees him. How incredible is the love of Jesus for my husband and how beautifully strong is my husband's love of Jesus. The love I have for Mr. Bailey is grater than anything I have ever known.  Knowing my trust and love for Jesus gives me strength and a love for my husband that cannot be explained. I love that man. I am called to be his helpmate in life and his helpmate I will be. My viewpoint on our marriage is that we could have 10 children, -and if I know how much I already love our B.B. and I've not met her yet - I will never love another person as much as I love Mr. Bailey. I am his helpmate first, as much of a challenge this will be I will strive my hardest to always be this first. That man just sends chills down my spine the second he walks into the room. OH BOY!

I will see you again

I write this with a twist in my heart.

I am joyful to write that my sweet Papa has made his way into Jesus' arms Tuesday January 22, 2013 at 5:15pm. I am overwhelmed by the idea of my Papa walking - well probably running - to those pearly gates. To have the King welcome him home with a hug only the Father can give. Grasping my Papa's hand as they walk through the streets of gold. My Papa overcome with happiness and peace. That is what I picture when I remember that he isn't here on this earth with us and the thought of that makes it so much more joyful.

You know, my Papa was the only stable and secure man in my life, until I met my husband that is. Whether I knew it growing up, or if I'm just remembering it now. He was. Some of my most cherished memories are with my Grandparents. There was always something about them that I loved and wanted to be surrounded with. I remember all the stories my family would tell about my Papa. How hard of a worker he was, how he could do anything, that he was stubborn, he was incredibly loving,  you could obviously tell he was deeply in love with my grandma and most importantly he was a man of the Lord. I don't think anyone could have asked for a more perfect man in our lives. 

I can rattle of so many memories or going down to St. George to meet them, Taking us to Disneyland and Seaworld, Taking us fishing with our princess kid poles eating peanuts, my Papa taking me on a bike ride around the green belt, showing me where he liked to fish, eating cherries and my Papa reminding me of the consequences of eating the whole bag, memorizing the books of the Bible, sitting on the couch right next him, him telling me, he loved 'us' (Me and my precious baby girl, someone he wont meet here) I have so many that I could fill this up with memories. 

One of the most important things my Papa did for me was leave me an incredible heritage. Something he and my grandma gave me and my husband that is irreplaceable. They led us to our Lord. Something that no one can ever take from us, and something that we will pass down to our children, and them to their children. I thank my God for them and that thing that they had and wanted to be around. It was Him and His light shining bright through my grandparents. We wouldn't be were we are, if it weren't for their guidance and love of the Lord. 

This is where my heart has a twist. I am sad, and have cried numerous times just writing this small thing out; though, as I said earlier, I think about him and where he is at now! Glorious Day! I know the rest of my family without a doubt knows where he is as well. Though, not all of my family know Jesus. My heart breaks for them and the comfort that falls short. There is something only the Father can give in times like these and it fills voids, valleys and crevasses. It may not make the pain go away, but the holes in our hearts are filled with Him. My heart is sad that the valleys my family feels in the loss of my Papa are wide and dark. I pray that their heart breaks in the way of the Lord and is healed in the way of the Lord. I pray that in these times of sadness and loss they will know Him, the only way of salvation.

I love you Papa and I miss you here, but I know the day I return home, I will see you. 

Power in Prayer

I'm grateful I have a God who listens. I'm blessed to have a direct line of communication with Him. There is serious power in prayer...even the most simple ways of praying.

I am apart of a 'Prayer Chain' on Facebook. Its a group of people who are in my church that got together for a quick response way to ask for prayer. Its not 'church official', but its a great way to get a need out there. 


My precious Papa is close to going home to see Jesus... this was my prayer. 

Ashley

Please pray for my family. My Papa L. Wayne Root was diagnosed with caner last year and after all of his chemo and radiation his cancer has spread to the rest of his body. My sweet Papa is on his way home to Jesus within the next few days possibly. My heart is heavy with sadness of the emptiness my family will feel without him. We all have peace know he is going home, but it is not easy to let him go...The tear of wanting him to be here because we are here and wanting him to go home where he will no longer be in pain. Please pray for a multitude of things. That out of this heartache, God will break my family hearts the way His heart breaks and brings all my family back into His grace. Pray for my Grandma Marjorie Root, after 50+ years of marriage, she will be letting her soul mate go home. Pray that the hurt that this will bring will only glorify our Lord and that in this pain the emptiness we may feel, will be filled with Jesus and nothing but Jesus. There shall be no room for any thing but HIS peace and light. I believe the miraculous still can happen, but pray for God's will. Thanks friends!!

I live in Utah and attend a church in North Salt Lake. My Grandparents live in Idaho. This prayer, was spread all the way up to them. Please remember, that the group in which this is posted in, is 'affiliated' with my church attendees in Utah. Through this prayer being passed on, it made its way to their home church members. Where they are more close to my Papa than my church.

I just am floored at how God listens to your prayers. Leading the Spirit in those who prayed for my Papa to lead this prayer chain up to a different state.  

Love

Oh my precious baby girl, how I love you so. I cannot imagine looking into your little eyes and falling in love with you even more than I am now. It is a love that no one in this world will ever understand except your Dad and I. 

I have prayed for you in many ways. Praying that we would have you in God's perfect timing. Now that you are on your way, I am praying for you in many more ways. 

I pray that God instills within you a great sense of who He is. I pray that as you grow the foundation we will lay for you confirms that innate sense. That your heart will be softened and broken in all the beautiful ways He forms us. I pray for all the times I know you will struggle and we cannot be there; that you take comfort in Jesus. I pray your will aligns with His will and the joy that He brings aligns with your joy. I pray for your future, whatever that may bring. I pray that you will love your God so much that you will find His love has no bounds. I pray that when the man of your dreams enters into your life; He will love God so much and know His love has no bounds. 

I have so many things that I pray for; though, I mostly want you to know I love you with an unexplainable love. If I cannot explain how much I love you and I've not met you, yet. Then I cannot explain how much Jesus loves you and wants you, and you've not met Him, yet. My precious daughter, know you are loved deeply and eternally; that will help you to always remember who you are and what you stand for. 

Love, 
Your Momma

Sixteen

Baby Bailey is a delicious avocado right now! Roughly 4.5 inches tall!

Today was an extra special day! We found out who God has blessed us with! Mr. Bailey and I had made a bet with one another. I thought it was a girl and Mr. Bailey though it was a boy. If I won the bet, I would be getting a fabulous new vacuum! If Mr. bailey won the bet, he would be getting his truck rhino lined. Quite the bets for finding out what the gender of our B.B. is!

It is one thing to see your ultra sound in the doctors office, to only then get pictures. After you've seen your baby rolling around and kicking inside of you. The original plan, was to wait until  next week to find out. Well my Momma will be in the beautiful state of Hawaii and I couldn't wouldn't find out what we were having without her there! So today it was! We got a fun dvd of Baby Bailey kicking, yawning and sucking its thumb. Here are the facts that I know about my Baby thus far.

They are just like their Momma in a few ways.

Exhibit A: Our sweet baby's hands were up by its face the whole entire time. I know all babies do this, but this was something my Momma did to me when I was little. Comfort.

Exhibit B: Thumb Sucking. I was a thumb sucker until I was like 4. Lets hope this little one isn't.

Exhibit C: I think this one is going to be a great sleeper. I think we woke this B.B. up when we went. There is a lot of yawning in the video of Baby Bailey!

So here are the pictures!

.....and....

We are so excited to be having her!

Fifteen - Plus Some

This is baby bailey at thirteen weeks. 

This is baby bailey currently.

And this is me and baby bailey.

We find out if bb is a he or she the 9th!

Life has lived up to its name that is for sure lately. I've blogged before about my sweet Papa. My papa was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. The past year has been filled with chemo, radiation and above all more faith and prayers than you could imagine. We felt we had a grip on this evil that has decided to take root in him, until last month that is. A month and a half after his last session of radiation; my papa started having back problems. Low and behold his cancer has spread to his spine. The bone that is. 5 days after we learned this information, we learn that his right lung is 'engulfed' with cancer and his left has numerous small tumors. More than likely is has spread into his pelvis. The grip we felt we had on the situation quickly left. My papa is a man of the Lord. I have no doubt in my mind where he will go, when he does. The hardest part is letting the 'go' part sink in. 

I pray for a covering over my grandma of all people. She is a mighty woman and is incredibly firm in Jesus. Though, that doesn't make any of this any less hard to accept. Please pray for my Grandma Marjorie Root. Also pray for my Papa L. Wayne Root. 

Eleven

This is about the size of Baby Bailey so far!

I'm back from the dead, well for today I am! I think I slept last week away. Mmmkay, people, I've never been soooo tired in life. And I'm a sleeper! I could sleep anywhere anytime! Its just a different kind of tired. Besides that, whats been happening?

Last week we had our friend Josh over for the week to finish remodeling our Master Bedroom, Laundry Room and Office Area. SOOOOO now, the whole house has been redone except for the bathrooms! Which will be coming along in the beginning of the year. This lady is in need of a new bathroom area. The current ones just aren't cutting it. No amount of bleach (not that I'm using it right now) could make that room look clean. Blekkkkkk. 

So this baby making thing is work, Mmmkay. Like a lot of work. And there are some crazy mad changes going on within me.

First, lets be real and honest. My ladies have like doubled in size. WHAT??? Seriously,  in my Momma's famous words, 'I've already got a couple' Now I've got more than just a couple going on here. The funny part about this? So this woman wears an apron when I clean and cook. Since I had a couple going on before, I had the classic apron. Over the neck and around the waste. Right, well now that I've got more than just a couple going on over here. That small little top thing, isn't cutting it. It decides to move over to one side. Sweet, I just wanted coverage on just one of those ladies....not. They get in the way, and I'm in for it, I just know it. 

Second, I'm just gonna say it like it is. Can you say weird fat in weird places. I still fit in all my clothes and think that is normal for only being 11 weeks preggo. But seriously, I've got some extra something going on in places I for realz don't want it. Its normal I get it, but boy it doesn't feel normal to look in the mirror and go. WHaaaaaaa??

Really though, those are my only two complaints if they are complaints. I've not been overly hungry, I think I could go the day without eating and I've not been sick. Thank my Good Lord!! Mr. Bailey and I feel extremely blessed right now. 

Now. My house is a blown up disaster from painting all three rooms and Mr. Bailey is out of town. So I think I need to clean or something. Even though I could sleep at the moment. Maybe I'll clean up the living rooms and then snuggle up with this snuggle bug.

I Just

 Love Her

 Soooooo Much!

Nine

Baby Bailey is roughly the size of a cherry. 

We had our first Doctors appointment on Friday. And, there weren't 9 heart beats in there, just 1! One precious little heart beat. 

Here is the first 'picture' of Baby Bailey! I am incredibly excited and terrified all at the same time. I didn't know it was possible to be both of those at the same time. I'm feeling quite good and I'm grateful for that. The only thing that has been kicking my booty is, I am beyond exhausted and not hungry. If I could just sleep all the time I would.  

On another note, my nephew is 2 today and long from his 6lb 13oz self in that picture! I love you B.W.W! and I wish you the happiest Birthday!

Comfort things

I think everyone has a myriad of things that are comfort items... things that just make you go 'Okay, right now, I'm alright.' I have a few of those things.

I'd like to say that those comfort things are in the 'correct' order. I'd like to have them be in the right order. I'd even like to loose a couple of comfort things.

Truth is, they aren't. I'm not. The first thing that is comforting to me, or that I want is my blanket. Yes I'm 25 and I still have a blanket....Yes it is basically see threw and has no distinguishing color. It is my comfort when I've had a really bad day. I still think it might have magical powers sometimes, that child like belief comes over me and I think it can heal whatever ales me.

The second, is food. whenever we weren't feeling well my Momma would make us a Mug O Noodles.

Its not something gourmet, or even the healthiest thing. But I know that it was something my Momma could get us to eat, and we loved it. I still love it. Literally noodles in a mug.

After I run to these other comfort things, I feel incredibly guilty is when I wish they were in the 'correct' order. So the truth of it all is my comfort first and foremost should come from Jesus. I wish I could be more habitual in going to Him first. I'm still learning, and am human. I want the comfort only HE can bring to me. I want to have child-like faith and completely trust in Him to heal me. 

I know He wants me too. He wants every part of me and I want Him to have it all. 

8 Weeks

Raspberry. That is about the size of our Baby Bailey at the moment. 

This, is the actual look of Baby Bailey. 

Whats going on so far? Well a bunch of things! I've got my first Doctors appointment this Friday. We are ecstatic! I'm sure it is going to make this feel a lot more real. So far, I've not had morning sickness, but I have felt nauseous. If I just lay still, it goes away eventually and I'm super sleepy. I think I could nap the days away. Other than those, and the obvious physical changes (seriously, I just bought new bras. You've got to be kidding me, right now.) I am great! 

Life is taking a very different path for us. God led. The best way. After a lot of prayer and consideration, I am going to be leaving my job. I feel as if God is saying 'Move!' and boy am I going to move. I'm not sure where or what I'll be doing, besides staying home and taking care of the house. I don't know if there is another opportunity out there, or if this is the change God has in store for us. What I do know, is its a nerve racking change. I will have to entrust everything I have unto my Lord. I will have to be like a child and depend  on Him to provide what our life needs. Being the human that I am, giving up my control is hard. BUT I'm doing it and doing it faithfully. 

God has a great way of moving, only if we listened half of the time to see how He was moving things. We would be blown away and wouldn't have trust issues with Him. I speak this for myself, and am now saying, I'm listening, and I'm moving. 

Regardless

My heart aches today. For unrealistic things. Things that even if you were here, probably wouldn't be ideal. I don't know why I yearn for them, but I do and desperately. 

I wish my child would know you here and you them. If wishes were fishes we'd all have a bowl full. Before we even knew we were having a child, I cried over the idea that you wouldn't be there. That they would grow up never knowing you. Which I know in reality, even if you were here, would probably be the case. I guess I like trying to make what would have been different than it was. 


Jam and I took a day to remember you. We drove and drove to the place we used to fish and eat beef jerky. It was a beautiful sunny day and my red car got covered in dust. We stepped out of my car to remember that place. Breathe it in, and visualize what it once was, and what is used to be to the both of us. Different in our own memories. It was the first time, I felt at peace with everything and a peace that I try to go back to when I feel like its chaos. 

My car was covered in dust. We are not sure how or even a why, but in random places along my car was this hand. We placed our hand next to it to compare. My picture doesn't do it justice, but the grooves and crevasses of an imprint were all to visible. It journeyed with us home, where the rest of the dust on my car did not. Like I had mentioned, I felt peaceful at this moment and place. The same peace we felt when we picked you up from the mortuary. A peace where we knew this was the right thing to do.

Sometimes, I get lost in the what if's of you. Mainly, my heart aches for that word my children will never call you...

I know what my Papa means to me, and I wish that even if you were still here you would be that. I know, that regardless you wouldn't. Though, that doesn't mean I still didn't want it. I know I yearn for something that wouldn't be even if, but I'm only human and wish for some of the things I don't have. You.

I'm sad that my growing child wont know you, regardless. I'm sad that my child might call someone else Grandpa, regardless. My heart aches, regardless. Dad, I miss you regardless. Even though you aren't here anymore, I pray for you, regardless. 

Week 7

With only being the size of a blueberry, this little one has made a huge impact. 

I've subscribed to Family Education; because, me never having had a human being before am addicted with gaining information. I know, I've already freaked myself out at all the information out there.  Below is the picture they provide at 7 weeks 1 day. 

I am still in shock that I am growing a life inside of me. I am incredibly blessed. You Baby Bailey have been prayed for exceedingly.

My DSB

Today is an in-awe kind of a day. I could get overly emotional about my DSB aka my Husband. and being pregnant could have something to do with my high emotions going on, but I choose to think its because I'm overly blessed and its the way the Lord chooses to show me. 

I mean, I'm not just blessed because my husband picks up the dog poop in the back yard every time, or that he always remembers I don't like my water with ice, or that he understands my sense of humor, or that he is extremely attractive, or that he is the most perfect man for me.

Though, all those things are amazing things, they aren't even comparable to who he is. He is a man of the Lord. He chooses Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He is a prayerful man. He chooses to pray for our family, friends and loved ones. He chooses to want to be a light for those who are lost. He is the spiritual leader of our home. He chooses to guide our home and set the standard for our home. He is my help mate in life. He chooses to love and cherish me. 

Those qualities are above all things and I thank God for him every day of my life. I pray that I as his help mate in life can be just loving and cherish him as he is for me. As we have entered into the world of parenthood, I see all the amazing qualities he has. Not that I didn't before, but they are more apparent to me now. I am blessed to have this type of man in my life forever. 

I am blessed above all because he is my husband. 

This is the moment I realized I loved this man with all my heart and that I wanted nothing more than to be his.

This Stinks

This is how I feel about today.

Baby Bailey {B.B.} Arrival June 2013

I have a secret to tell you. I've been keeping it for a bit. It has been really hard to keep quiet. But that doesn't mean I'm going to just spill the beans...Okay it does!

I took pictures with my family, and on the count of three, Mr. Bailey said......

Ashley's Pregnant!

It is official! We are expecting our Baby Bailey to be here June 2013! Words cannot express the joy Mr. Bailey and I feel. We are utterly excited and can't wait for this adventure. I'm sure our B. B. will be just like Mr. Bailey and I; which means we are in for it 10 fold!

Orange

As Autumn is here so is the crisp air in the morning. Which makes me simply just say 'I don't want too!' In the morning. Which is code for. 'Hun can we please please be irresponsible today and call in sick?' Somehow the responsible in him rubs off on me and next thing you know I'm getting ready. Wondering what the heck am I going to wear...Do I even have clean clothes? I secretly laugh at that statement, because far too often is it true. I don't like laundry people!

Today I am praying for a better day than yesterday. It was rough. Uncontrollably rough. I pray for God's grace on me, especially today. 

I found clean clothes by the way. and only because I purchased them :) An orange dress for Autumn.

Now to go make some coffee before I fall into my 'I don't want too!' and have too because I'm already at work moment. 

A Joyful place

The last Saturday I woke up at 2:00am and finished gathering our belongings, packed them into the car. I went back inside and woke my other half and we set out on the open road at 2:30am. To reach our destination at 7:30am: Boise. 

I cherish these moments with my grandparents. They are such great memory making moments. Laughter, tears and laughter. They are refreshing to not just be our grandparents, but a brother and sister in Christ. Refreshing to talk with family and have that eternal connection with them. 

I'm not sure if its the smell of my Papa and Grandma's home, that just lets one know 'you are safe and sound here'. If its the smell of coffee first thing in the morning, the love of the Lord that surrounds their home, dessert time that is way past my bed time, or the prayerful words we speak to one another. If anything I know it is their love for Jesus that reaps thought their home. There isn't anything that can calm or comfort like that love. Though, who they are is what adds to that beautiful mixture. Drayton and I leave their home feel grounded and filled in our hearts. 

Then reality comes knocking on our doors. Life has to resume as if we never went up there. Seconds after we left their home, work flooded my phone. I was hoping I could just escape for one day, a mere 8.5 hours. if only, if only I knew today would be a fun filled day of catch up on the one day I missed out. Boy was I in for it.

It is days like today, that I pray that The Shift would smack me in the face and say 'HERE I AM' Today I feel like I just want to quit. I feel like I want to be done now and move on with all the exciting things that are happening in mine and Drayton's lives. I pray that I can be still in these moments and really listen to what I need to do. Even though, I feel like what I need to do is go home.