I'm pretty proud of myself. Yes I know, cocky much? Well what I mean is, I'm comfortable with myself. I'm a realist with myself. What I'm trying to relay is this: I know I will never be a size 3 jean, or a size Small shirt. You know what, I'm totally comfortable with that. In fact I like having my hourglass of a body. So I complain about my thunder thighs, and in my Mother's words "A couple boobs going on" All in all I have to thank my wonderful genes for my figure.
I have been comfortable with the way I look all my life. There are people out there with all sorts of pill popping, eating, not eating disorders. The one thing I have never been comfortable with is my personality. I've swayed one way or the other my whole life trying to people please. Would you believe it, if I said I was done? Well I am. Its harder to be who you are in your core 100% of the time than it is to count calories for the week; well for me at least.
What has me filled to the brim and open eyed is I know people and situations that I have to speak a certain way to, or walk on egg shells around, dress a certain way, or not speak in general. Well, I am at fault for bending in so many directions for all these people and loosing myself in the process. Thus, making me uncomfortable with my personality. Trying to juggle the quiet, loud, humble, aggressive, modest, crazy facade from person to person is not worth it. People, I'm not saying that I'm a fake, or that I'm not myself around everyone. I just have realized that I'm a pretty darn good person with who I am; not including all those things to juggle and carry around.
That is what makes us all individual. This is part of me rooting myself in my path. Yes there are times that require tact, respect and softness; though, I will continually stand by my believes no matter the situation or the person. This will be a test of my strength as an individual. It will be an even greater test of relationships, friendships and situations. I pray that the times and people will see who I am, not who I've bent to be.
"So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil." Deuteronomy 11:13-14
Until Next Time,
Peace & Love
Showing posts with label Growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Growth. Show all posts
1.04.2011
1.03.2011
List Making
I am a maker of every kind of list you can imagine. To do lists, Completed lists, Chore Lists, Goal Lists, Budgeting Lists, Thought Lists and even Grocery Lists. This is the very entertaining non-genetic thing I picked up from my Mom. I make lists at any given point of the day. In my head, or on a yellow pad with only a blue pen, or in Excel. It could be that I just love looking at my 3rd grade handwriting; who knows. I have made my 2011 list. Yes, I didn't accomplish much of my assigned 2010 goal list, but those 2010 goals were just minuscule in the big goal I did accomplish.
Here are my goals:
-I want to root myself.
Thats all. Its going to take a bit of grooming, pruning and watering. I think the outcome though will be rather long lasting. For that, I am beyond excited. I have already started to root myself in and man does it feel incredible! I'm thankful I have a comrade in my quest.
ROOT: Noun, Often Attributive /rut/
Beginning: The place where something begins, where it springs into being.
I am so excited, I was asked to make a Prayer Shawl this past Sunday. I started on it last night, and can't wait to see the finished product. I also have started my Grannie Square afghan. She is a beaut, with her 8 squares so far, Let me just say.
Until Next Time,
Peace & Love
Here are my goals:
-I want to root myself.
Thats all. Its going to take a bit of grooming, pruning and watering. I think the outcome though will be rather long lasting. For that, I am beyond excited. I have already started to root myself in and man does it feel incredible! I'm thankful I have a comrade in my quest.
ROOT: Noun, Often Attributive /rut/
Beginning: The place where something begins, where it springs into being.
I am so excited, I was asked to make a Prayer Shawl this past Sunday. I started on it last night, and can't wait to see the finished product. I also have started my Grannie Square afghan. She is a beaut, with her 8 squares so far, Let me just say.
Until Next Time,
Peace & Love
1.01.2011
In my Husbands words "It was epic"
After re-reading a lot of my posts and reminiscing over photos of this past year; there is one thing that is familiar in all of them. Redundancy is not it either. :) Its not the familiarity in the faces in the pictures, or the self comfort in my posts. This thing is fluid and moves swiftly; other times it is seemingly slow.
2010 is the marking point for the rest of my life. It started my epic journey. For that alone, it was an astonishing year.
I have celebrated close to 34 birthdays with family alone. Yes some of which that celebration was shared in a card, or a call, but celebrated none the less. I have gained an appreciation for organization and how it loves to be stress free. Though, I still have not learned to like doing laundry. I have gained the best four legged creature and stealer of my puppy loving heart. Though I was not there the week she was born, I have been with her every week and day after that. She is the best snuggler and rope tugger around and who couldn't resist those big floppy ears? I know my days wouldn't be quite right without our afterwork howls together. I have learned more about my family in one year than I have known them in all my 23 years. We are a unique bunch of individuals that are after all, are just like one another.I became plural and I married the most patient, kind, forgiving loving man. He is perfect in my eyes. After knowing him for almost 2 years we were married on July 2, 2010. Which was 2 days before our 2 year anniversary, Yes we got to watch fireworks in Maui. Watching as they reflected over a mirror like ocean. It was bliss. We sold my toothpaste car for our more permanent Mazda. That Mazda, she has some spice to her, let me just say. I found a companion in my quest. We let our Dear and Sweet Great Grandma Root go home. She is now perfect in every way, stunning and as I say jealously walking through the perfection of Heaven. We welcomed my sister's handsome little man into this world. We have a home, a welcoming home, a praising home, a home outside of ours. We have a gaining hunger and thirst for our salvation. We hold hand in hand in an effort to strengthen our Faith.
With our year in mind we held hands as we counted down the most epic start to our lives.
I have never experienced so much rapid and slow change in my life. Like I said looking back through all my posts and photos; that is what I have been looking for. The comical part about seeking change, is the more you look at your feet to make sure your walking straight, the more you get lost. If you just look up; you would be shocked by all the avenues of change you can go down. My change caught me by surprise and snuck right in. I wasn't aware of if literally until the last day of 2010...Ironic. I am proud to say the goals I set for myself in 2010 didn't get accomplished, but my journey found the right path. I sprouted roots and grounded myself and had no Idea. I am sprouting and growing a whole new leaf of life.
I know who I want to be and I'm standing for it. Here is to a year bursting with greatness, Faith and Blessings!
Until Next Time,
Peace & Love
2010 is the marking point for the rest of my life. It started my epic journey. For that alone, it was an astonishing year.
I have celebrated close to 34 birthdays with family alone. Yes some of which that celebration was shared in a card, or a call, but celebrated none the less. I have gained an appreciation for organization and how it loves to be stress free. Though, I still have not learned to like doing laundry. I have gained the best four legged creature and stealer of my puppy loving heart. Though I was not there the week she was born, I have been with her every week and day after that. She is the best snuggler and rope tugger around and who couldn't resist those big floppy ears? I know my days wouldn't be quite right without our afterwork howls together. I have learned more about my family in one year than I have known them in all my 23 years. We are a unique bunch of individuals that are after all, are just like one another.I became plural and I married the most patient, kind, forgiving loving man. He is perfect in my eyes. After knowing him for almost 2 years we were married on July 2, 2010. Which was 2 days before our 2 year anniversary, Yes we got to watch fireworks in Maui. Watching as they reflected over a mirror like ocean. It was bliss. We sold my toothpaste car for our more permanent Mazda. That Mazda, she has some spice to her, let me just say. I found a companion in my quest. We let our Dear and Sweet Great Grandma Root go home. She is now perfect in every way, stunning and as I say jealously walking through the perfection of Heaven. We welcomed my sister's handsome little man into this world. We have a home, a welcoming home, a praising home, a home outside of ours. We have a gaining hunger and thirst for our salvation. We hold hand in hand in an effort to strengthen our Faith.
With our year in mind we held hands as we counted down the most epic start to our lives.
I have never experienced so much rapid and slow change in my life. Like I said looking back through all my posts and photos; that is what I have been looking for. The comical part about seeking change, is the more you look at your feet to make sure your walking straight, the more you get lost. If you just look up; you would be shocked by all the avenues of change you can go down. My change caught me by surprise and snuck right in. I wasn't aware of if literally until the last day of 2010...Ironic. I am proud to say the goals I set for myself in 2010 didn't get accomplished, but my journey found the right path. I sprouted roots and grounded myself and had no Idea. I am sprouting and growing a whole new leaf of life.
I know who I want to be and I'm standing for it. Here is to a year bursting with greatness, Faith and Blessings!
Until Next Time,
Peace & Love
12.15.2010
Thinking inside the box
There are always moments in life that make you realize what values are imprinted in your core, and what ones are not.
I admit I tend to be passive aggressive in uncomfortable situations. I am passive in situations where I need to be. Overall, I like to think I'm fairly aggressive. For all those who may see that comment and think its not a good thing.
Somewhere, somehow I think a spark ignited in my brain a couple of years ago. It lit up parts of my life that have been dark for years. It also let me see. I am not all knowing, or all seeing. (Though, the twinkle in my eye children will think so) I've learned to see things about my life in a different light. Learning the skills I need in life to have a stress free, neutral, happy and consistent life. Learning the needs of those around me to have them have a stress free, neutral, happy and consistent life. I must admit, its been an interesting endeavor. With that said, I've learned who I am and starting to ground myself in what I stand for. Again, it has been an interesting endeavor. Learning all of that lets you see people completely different. Its odd and challenging. I will not claim its easy, or that I've accomplished "looking outside the box". The reality isn't trying to "Look outside the box" but look inside the box and figure out how it all fits in there.
I admire my family for all that they are and all that they aren't. Where each of us have our weaknesses one of us is strong. I am so blessed that we are so webbed together perfectly.
Until next Time,
Peace & Love
I admit I tend to be passive aggressive in uncomfortable situations. I am passive in situations where I need to be. Overall, I like to think I'm fairly aggressive. For all those who may see that comment and think its not a good thing.
Somewhere, somehow I think a spark ignited in my brain a couple of years ago. It lit up parts of my life that have been dark for years. It also let me see. I am not all knowing, or all seeing. (Though, the twinkle in my eye children will think so) I've learned to see things about my life in a different light. Learning the skills I need in life to have a stress free, neutral, happy and consistent life. Learning the needs of those around me to have them have a stress free, neutral, happy and consistent life. I must admit, its been an interesting endeavor. With that said, I've learned who I am and starting to ground myself in what I stand for. Again, it has been an interesting endeavor. Learning all of that lets you see people completely different. Its odd and challenging. I will not claim its easy, or that I've accomplished "looking outside the box". The reality isn't trying to "Look outside the box" but look inside the box and figure out how it all fits in there.
I admire my family for all that they are and all that they aren't. Where each of us have our weaknesses one of us is strong. I am so blessed that we are so webbed together perfectly.
Until next Time,
Peace & Love
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